Puzzle pieces

quick fact... I won't ever tell you straight out that I need help... not when it comes to my life... not when it comes to my heart, not when it comes to my inner being...

anything else - projects, jobs, etc... I realize I have to drop my pride for that but MY inner life... what consumes me from the inside out I won't.

Don't ask me why, Idk... I think it might be because I'm afraid of being hurt once again. Because I've trusted so many other times. Because every time I convince myself that it might be worth it... it's not.

I think of my life as a puzzle sometimes. How so?? There are so many pieces to me... so many pieces of my story, my life. But I don't ever give one person my whole entire puzzle. Someone asked me the other day if I had best friends and how many?... I have a few counted ones... but it hurt my heart to think that not one of those best friends has my whole puzzle... in fact I've given each one different pieces of my puzzle. It's not because I haven't wanted to but because I'm afraid of how they might handle the entire puzzle, I wonder so much so that I 'test' them out to see how receptive they might be to one of the 'pieces' if they don't take interest or concern or they might disapprove I don't give it to them. Is this just me or do others do the same??