I don't know a lot of things. I can admit that. But what makes me kinda sad these days is that I don't know myself anymore.
I don't know what or who I've become. I can tell you about who I used to be.
I used to be so confident. I didn't give a crap about whether you liked me or not. It didn't phase me. I was happy. always. It was like a constant high. I felt like the world was mine to take and make of it what I wanted. I knew that I liked horses, and that I didn't need boys to be happy. I knew that the world was my oyster. I knew that I could be as successful as only I wanted to be. I also knew that I wanted to travel. That I was NOT a fan of rap. That I wanted to become CEO or something of that sort. I knew that I could deliver when asked. I knew that I could make a friend wherever. I knew that my family was around but that they didn't know me not the real me. I knew I wasn't drop dead gorgeous that my personality and character were my forte. I knew that I liked to read. That i didn't like the piano. That I loved playing flute. I knew that I liked leadership roles. I was self-conscious about my body. I knew that I wouldn't be tall. I wasn't shy. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't overly cautious. I wasn't all about boys. I knew I had something different about me.
Who am I now?
I'm scared. I know life's a bitch. I don't know what I like to do in my free time. I constantly feel guilty for not doing anything in my free time. I don't like being alone. I am not as confident.(Though you may never see that) I don't know where my life is going. I am shy. I own a guitar I don't know how to play. I live in a box. It's hard to trust. I can take some rap now...
I don't know
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1 comment:
Life happens and teaches us to grow in some areas...and then shows us our true colors in others... You aren't the same person you were back then, but that's because you're growing! I think you are a very confident person.. But even confident people struggle at times. Especially when taken out of our normal habitat. Lol I've been out of the house for 2 years now and my Saturday nights are still boring. Lol shoot, once I get out of the school it's boring. Since I'm not as social as you, I've decided to make myself a priority. I run, read, study my bible. Or even walk the mall, or stores... Not to buy, but to see people lol. That always brightens my days...love you...
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